In The Middle

Life, Family, Yoga, Stuff

Exposed

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It was Mother’s Day, a few years ago and I was working the counter at my video store that Sunday afternoon.  There were a few people in the store, all women until a guy walked thru the door.  I knew him, he’d been a regular.  I hadn’t seen him in awhile and I remember thinking, “wow, he looks beefed up in the arms” he was also sporting very short hair.  Jail, was my immediate thought as to where he’d been.  He was wearing a ball hat, a t-shirt, jeans with holes in them and a vest, a long vest with the sleeves cut off. 

I was getting information from a new member (a lady) when he approached the counter and asked a question.  I looked up from my paperwork.  He had his hand in the pocket of his vest and flashed it open to reveal, you know, hanging out of the hole in his jeans.  I had my hand on my brow line and honestly, tried not to laugh!  I ignored him.  He walked away, I conducted business with that lady and she left.  He was still in the store.  Honestly, if you were going to expose yourself, would you do it at someplace that you normally frequent? 

At this time, there were still people, women only, in the store.  Great.  He approached the counter once again.  Yep, flashed twice in one day!  This time, I laughed out loud.  Though a bit shaken, my thoughts immdiately were, “Why is he doing that?”  “That can’t be real.”  “What an idiot, I have all of his info!”  He walked out of the store.  I guess he didn’t get the rise out of me that he wanted.  I didn’t shriek, or scream “oh my God!”  I stayed calm.  I had all of his information in the computer, plus a black and white copy of his drivers’ license from back when we used to copy that for our files.

I called my husband who was at work (and was a police officer for 20 years) and now works in public safety.  He said he couldn’t talk, he was trying to catch a weenie exposer.  I laughed and said, “oh really.”  I thought he was kidding, but he wasn’t.   I told him I’d just been flashed.  He asked me what the guy was wearing.  Same guy, not kidding, driving all over town! 

Since I had all his info, he got busted.  The funny part was when we went to court like a year later.  Here was the other girl he flashed with her mom, me and the guy who made her report (who also happens to be my husband), as well as the police officer who made my report.  Weird day at court that day!

It gets better.  A couple of months ago, my husband asked me to go to a store and get him a certain type of moisture wicking t-shirt.  The girl at the counter said, “Ask that guy, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  So I walked up to the guy at a counter, with his head down.  Low and behold, there stood the flasher.  I blushed, said thanks, got my shirt and sped out of there. 

Beware of guys with holes in their pants.

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Author: Kirsten

Student of life, mother of one kid, 2 cats, and three dogs. I take and teach yoga, enjoy reading, movies, beaches, piddling in my yard and a good glass of wine with or without company.

2 thoughts on “Exposed

  1. It would have been funny if you could have greeted him by name and asked, “Where’s the beef?”

    I have a couple of flasher stories myself, one at Smitty’s and the other? Fassnight pool.

  2. Pingback: Flash Back at Life in the Garden

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