Back in the day, I owned a video store. Lately I ran across something which I kept, because it was damn funny. When customers would come in the store wanting a specific film, they didn’t always know the name of the movie. So they made one up. We logged their requests in our Alternative Title List and kept it our secret. OK. We did share it with those customers that could totally relate. I’m going to share some of the hilarity with you right now. I put the name of the film they were actually asking for in parenthesis.
Air Affair (Air Up there), Johnny Nomadic (Johnny Nmemonic), Jurastic Park (Jurrasic Park), Silkwood (French Kiss – don’t ask me where that one came from), Last Night (First Knight), Tetnis (Tetris), Sleeping in Seattle (Sleepless in Seattle), Shattered Glass (Glass Shield), Timestone (Tombstone), Too Fu Manchu (To Wong Foo…..), Stagecoach (Tombstone), Grievance Dogs (Reservoir Dogs), Farewell My Cucumber (Farewell My Concubine), Shammy (Chameleon), Dust (Powder), Dumb & Dumble (Dumb & Dumber), Bean Bacon (Canadian Bacon), Total Velcro (Terminal Velocity)
Siblank Redemption (Shawshank Redemption)…..Shankshaw, Sharnsharnk, Shimshank…..I can’t even list how many options people had for the name of this film!
The Fern (The Firm), Rapaphobia (Arachnaphobia), Boys From the Side (Boys On The Side), Duhmanji (Jumanji), Don’t Drink Juice In the Hood (Don’t Be A Menace to Society While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood), Saved By The Bell Stripshow (Showgirls), Rural (Juror), Farrow (Fargo), The Fat Boy (Nutty Professor), Liz Claiborne (Delores Claiborne), Winning Exhile (Waiting To Exhale), Multiple City (Multiplicity), That Movie Where John Travolta Moves Shit With His Head (Phenomenon), Leavin’ Minnesota (Feeling Minnesota), Premarital Fear (Primal Fear), Tomahawk (Broken Arrow), 13 or 7 Monkeys (12 Monkeys), Let’s Get Shorty (Get Shorty), Marilyn Marilyn (Mary Reilly), Boys In The Bubble (Bio Dome), Spitfire Girl (Spitfire Grill), Soft & Sensual (Sense & Sensibility), Watercolors (Waterworld), While Youns Ere Sleepin’ (While You Were Sleeping), Young and Famous (Quick And The Dead), Moah’s Art, or Mo’s Art (Amadeus), Color Me Purple (Color Purple), Shoney’s Playstation (Sony Playstation, includes breakfast bar)!
Imagine trying to keep a straight face while behind the counter at a video store when someone was asking for some of this stuff in a very serious demeanor. It wasn’t always easy.
Me and my sister Jeanine, in front of the Jurastic Park car at a video convention.
That’s me, with Charleton Heston in the early 90’s. I have a lot of photos of me with famous people and if I ever find the time, I’ll scan and share. I’ve got some good ones!