A few weeks ago I had some energy I needed to release. I love yoga and it’s a good way to gain and let go of energy. It can work either way for me depending on what I choose to practice. So. I wasn’t really feeling angry or anything, I just felt…..I don’t know. Like rockin’ out.
So. I threw down my yoga mat and put on some classic rock and roll. I know what you’re thinking. What kind of yoga practitioner/teacher is this? The non-traditional kind I would guess. But. I wasn’t teaching a class was I? I was simply throwing down my mat and throw down I did. To AC/DC.
I didn’t meditate obviously. That would’ve been mighty hard to do with Back In Black blaring in the background as, yes indeed it was. I decided on sun salutations, the perfect way to release pent up energy and sweat at the same time. All the while – while staying incredibly calm. It worked. Totally.
As I cruised through the greatest hits and others from AC/DC , I couldn’t help but think this. What if right now, this was a real yoga class with this kind of music? Hilarious! I like music in a yoga class. In fact I use it in almost all of my classes. I won’t ever forget the first time I had my class totally choreographed to a CD and then low and behold the CD player didn’t work. Hence was the first time I had to teach without music. From then on I told myself I’d never choreograph another class and I really haven’t. Though I still like to teach with music and take a class with music, I’ve learned to take it or leave it. I’ve learned to teach without it and at times the silence is very welcoming.
Back to my experience of yoga and AC/DC. As I cruised through, I don’t know how many sun salutes and strong standing postures I started to think. What if we actually opened a heavy metal yoga studio? We could call it Metallic Yoga or something like that. My imagination started running wild with crazy ideas. What if all the students had to wear spandex or some form? What if all the teachers had to have big, rock and roll hair? Everyone would have to have a bandana tucked into their pants or on their heads. In our boutique we could sell ripped up tank tops with big arm holes. Only for the women of course, because the dudes could wear a vest or go topless. We could offer yoga mats with lightning bolts, skulls or roses painted on them. I’m sure we could find a student who would do the art work for free. We could sell black and black light nail polish. Big skull/crossbones and snake finger rings. We could place a big chain around everyone’s neck upon entry. Chains that we would charge a rental fee for of course, but a mandatory rental fee. We could gauge the integrity of their Chatarunga (yoga push up) by the clanking of the chain on the floor. Too loud means you went too low and too fast and so on. We could offer an Alice Cooper and Kiss class. This of course would include yoga in full facial make up, eye liner, white paste, the whole deal. Maybe we could offer wigs and goatees and mustaches as well because, they’re in you know.
Of course this would have to be a fairly intense class because of the nature of the music. I’m thinking for our softer postures, and I’m talking the stuff we do on the floor like forward bends and twists and such, we could play a long, drawn out instrumental. I was thinking Eruption by Eddie Van Halen, but then I changed my mind. We could go with Jeff Beck’s Bolero instead, a little less intense. Yeah, that would work. And maybe for final relaxation we could break out Led Zeppelin’s Going To California and Tangerine or something.
We could play the Allman Brothers instrumental Jessica on constant replay as our signature welcome to our studio song. What would we have to pay out in royalties? It wouldn’t matter. We would be rockin’ our yoga in a space of at least 8,000 square feet with rent of $5,ooo per month and we would still have a ton of dough left over. We could spend a fortune in dry ice and fog the place out in a theatrical haze. Instead of cute little lamps we could use Lava Lamps in a variety of colors. The studio would be painted black of course and be located preferably underground. Like a basement for sure.
Then the CD quit. I rested in my sweaty shavasana/relaxation for 15 minutes. I left the cloud of rock and roll and re-entered the real world when my dog decided to lick my fingers and one of my cats decided to dig her claws into my foot. Ouch. Wake up call. What in the hell just happened? I suppose I just had a dream but I was awake. And Wide Awake I was.
Hey. Isn’t that a song by Katy Perry? Oh wow. Now we’re opening studios depending on the genre of the music! I may be onto something here. Ahead of my time and exhausted just thinking about it.
What did I do next? I put on Alanis Morrisette and cleaned my house. Acoustic version if I may add.
For those about to rock……………we salute you!